Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
Four Keys To Intimacy
Commitment
A Lifelong Choice Of Unconditional Love
Communication
A Lifelong Skill Of Learning To Understand Each Other.
Caring
“An Adventure Of Lifelong Friendship, Fun, And Mutual Fulfillment”
Commission
A Shared Lifelong Vision To Impact The Lives Of Others For Christ
God’s Perspective On Conflict Is That It Is Inevitable In A Fallen World
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
Men And Women Are Different
The Difference Between Men And Women Creates Conflicts
Understanding And Appreciating Our Differences Allows Us To Work On The Real Issues In Our Relationships
Things Men Need To Know About Women
Every Little Girl Is Asking: Am I Lovely? Am I Desired?
Focus: Women Focus On Relationships
Struggle: Women Struggle With Loneliness, And Fear Of Abandonment
Needs: A Women’s Greatest Need Is The Feeling of Security
A Women’s Wrong Strategy Is To Be Controlling
Things Women Need To Know About Men
Every Little Boy: Do I Have What It Takes? Am I A Man?
Focus: Men Focus On Impact
Struggle: Men Struggle Without A Clear Purpose And The Fear Of Failure
Needs: A Man’s Greatest Need Is Honor From His Loved Ones
A Man’s Wrong Strategy Is To Compensate and Compare
Different Communication Styles
Turtles
The Goal Is To Avoid
Can Clam Up And Not Speak
Can Give The Cold Shoulder
Can Withdraw Affection
Can Avoid And Redirect
Can Run To Diversionary Interest
The Natural Inclination Is To Withdraw
The Shark
The Goal Is To Win
Can Try To Be A Mind Reader
Can Do Blame Shifting
Can Keep Score
Can Use Logic To Escape Emotional Reality
Can Make Threats or Cause Humiliation
The Natural Inclination is to Attack
The Key To Overcoming Differences Is Communication
Defining Communication
Words Alone = 7%
Tone of Voice = 38%
Facial Expression, Posture And Gestures = 55%
Communication Is Getting What’s In Your Heart, Into The Heart And Mind Of Someone Else
Level 1 Cliché Conversation Safe, Shallow, Polite
Level 2 Reporting Facts Refers Basically To Third Persons
Level 3 Ideas and Judgements Risk Begins Here
Level 4 Feeling and Emotions Laying Yourself On The Line
Level 5 Open Communication Total Honesty, Mutual Understanding,
Vulnerability
You Must Communicate!!!!
5 Principles Of Transforming Communication
Dealing With Your Heart First
1. Be Honest – Speak The Truth In Love
but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ
Ephesians 4:15
2. Be Angry But Do Not Sin – Deal With Anger Appropriately
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:26-27
3. Be Diligent – Work Hard On Your Relationship, It Matters
Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.
Ephesians 4:28
4. Be Positive And Watch Your Words
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
Ephesians 4:29-31
5. Be Forgiving – Be The First To Say, “I’m Sorry.”
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Be Honest – Speak The Truth In Love
Be Angry But Do Not Sin – Deal With Anger Appropriately
Be Diligent – Work Hard On Your Relationship, It Matters
Be Positive And Watch Your Words
Be Forgiving – Be The First To Say, “I’m Sorry.”
